đŚ Paid Media & Advertising
We claim to use âdata-driven insightsâ to create hyper-targeted, ROI-smashing campaigns. In reality, we just boost your posts, throw in some generic buzzwords like engagement synergy, and pray Mark Zuckerberg does the rest.
đ° Real client feedback: âI spent $10,000 and got one email lead. It was my mom.â
Companies we probably represented
yes... We Know They are all out of business!
đ Brand Identity & Strategy
Your brand has a story. We just havenât read it. But that wonât stop us from giving you a totally original visionâone that oddly resembles a Canva template and a Pinterest mood board.
đ° Website Design & Optimization
We build stunning, high-converting websites⌠that may or may not function on mobile. Want your site to load in under three seconds? Thatâs cute. Ever seen a spinning wheel of doom? You will now!
đŁ Social Media Marketing
Weâll create viral content that captivates your audienceâby copying whateverâs trending on TikTok and calling it âstrategy.â Want real engagement? That costs extra.
đ¨ Our motto:
âMinimal effort, maximum stock photography.â
SEO & Content Marketing
We promise first-page Google rankings with our patented strategy:
1. Stuffing keywords like âbest digital marketing agency top 10 guaranteedâ into every sentence.
2. Writing blogs so generic even ChatGPT would be offended.
3. Praying to the Google gods.
â Guaranteed:
At least one broken link and a checkout process that requires divine intervention.
đĽ Warning:
Actual followers are not included. Engagement may just be bots from Kazakhstan.
Why Choose Unicorn Imitations? ⨠Because We Sound Impressive
đ Pro tip: If you canât find us on Google, neither can your customers.
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Our case studies are vague enough to sound successful, and our testimonials are definitely from real people (who are definitely not our employees using fake names).
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DOWNLOAD APPClient Testimonials:
âBefore Unicorn Imitations, my business was struggling. Now Iâm struggling even harder, but with way fancier branding!â â Chad, Small Business Owner
JOHN CARTER
ROLE, COMPANY
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JOHN CARTER
ROLE, COMPANY
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JOHN CARTER
ROLE, COMPANY
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The Basics about Cryptocurrency
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